If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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