And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
