He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
...so i touched it.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
