apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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