Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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