I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Even my vagina gasped.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Randomize
