I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
