i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
