This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize