I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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