guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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