Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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