Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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