Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
