using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
