I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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