On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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