What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
