She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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