my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
