The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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