She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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