But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
