Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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