bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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