I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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