so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
