your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
