redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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