Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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