If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
