So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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