Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
