his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
No subtext here. People are naked.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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