dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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