first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
