Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
