we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
