Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
