I want to stick my p in your. b.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
