I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just had sex bonerless
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
