you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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