WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
