Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
