he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
