All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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