We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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