I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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