First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize