You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
