even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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