i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
