shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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