Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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