We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
