so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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