Swine flu. Run for my life!
if only i could text you this smell
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
