Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
