Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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