u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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