Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
