champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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