i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
