I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
