I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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