just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
